Saturday, October 30, 2010


I am really frustrated with blogger and how they've changed the templates. My blog is such a mess and it's driving me crazy. I have spent HOURS trying to fix this and I don't know how. Grrrr! I know if you look at it it probably doesn't look that bad, but it's the fact it is not doing what I want it to do that is really peeving me.
I think I'm going to just leave it alone and focus on the actual posting from now on instead of trying to make it look cute. Blah

Friday, October 29, 2010

Lessons from a 2 year old

I cannot tell you how stressful this past month has been. Maybe it has just seemed worse since being hopped up on hormones makes everything worse for everyone. But it has been a hard month, at least for me.

Sometimes I feel like I run around spreading myself too thin and wish there was just ONE thing I was doing really well instead of a lot of things I wasn't doing well. One thing I often wish I was better at was mothering. I feel guilty being gone so much lately between work and doctor's appointments, especially as we want a little brother or sister for Benny and I want to be there for them, not shuttling them off to sitters all the time. But at the same time we need the job and medical treatments to be able to HAVE a baby, so it's kind of a catch 22.

The other day I was so frustrated and feeling bad, so I asked Benny if I was a bad mom. He looked at me wide eyed and adamantly said, "No, you're a good mommy!" And gave me a hug. I don't usually ask for praise or reassurance (also not why I am writing this post), but that day I needed it. What a sweet boy.

Then yesterday I was driving home with Benny and he asked his usual, "What am I going to see after my nap?" Meaning, "who am I going to see and what am I going to do tomorrow morning after I wake up." He always has to have a plan.
Me: You're going to Auntie Kimiko's house to play with Mayumi.
Benny: Oh. Where are you going?
Me: I'm going to work.
Benny: Who are you going to help?
Me: I'm going to clean some people's teeth.

He assumed that since he was going to a sitter again, we would be off helping someone. I often wonder if we are doing things right, if we are doing all the things we need to. At that moment I realized that yes, maybe we're doing ok. My 2 year old has not once complained about the amount of time Ben and I have been gone lately, he has only noticed that we have been out "helping people." There have been many moves and service projects, and I am so glad that that is where we have been spending our time instead of other frivolous ways.
Benny is definitely a typical two year old with two year old antics, but also typical in how pure and innocent they are. I felt humbled.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


This little chef needs to learn some I guess.

Saturday we were at the store when Benny asked "what are those?" I answered they were yucky drinks (liquor bottles) and then realized he probably meant the Little People passing by. I quickly moved on, but on the way back out of the store Benny asked, "Where are my friends? I want to say hi." And there they were, a couple about Benny's size. So we chatted for no more than 2 seconds and then I rushed him out, mortified we singled these poor people out. Thankfully they were very kind, and I'm sure they get all sorts of comments and stares, but I didn't want to the be one to give them any unwanted attention.

Not even two days later we were at another store when Benny asked, very loudly, "What does that girl in blue have on her?" I looked up to see a woman in blue scrubs with light patches of skin RIGHT NEXT to us, so no time to hide or talk to him about it. I apologized to the woman, but she also was very nice and explained to him that she had "Michael Jackson Syndrome."

Thankfully the people in both these situations were very nice and knew just how to handle things, but it must be hard to be "different" and have to deal with those awkward situations all the time.

Benny and I had a talk about how we are all different, and we don't need to stare or point out these differences, but he is 2 and I would be surprised if something like this didn't happen again. I hate feeling like a terrible mom. I promise we do try to teach Benny how to be polite.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Fireman Ben

I know it's not Halloween yet, but I about died when I saw how cute Benny was in his costume (no, he will not be wearing crocs). The cutest part is how excited he has been. Last Halloween he was not a fan of dressing up, but this year he has been planning his costume ever since the catalogs came in the mail. He carries the catalogs around the house and sits down time and again on the couch, thumbing through the pictures and always landing on the firefigher page. He is very into firetrucks and firefighters at the moment.

Auntie Kimiko made this for him one day when she was babysitting.

He still likes to streak and ran into his room after his bath, immediately donning his helmet, and only his helmet.

He even asked if he could wear his costume to sleep tonight.
Thank you, Grandma Sue, for making this little boy so happy! I think this costume will be more than just for Halloween.

And some other random stuff--I still get a kick out of how much fun Benny and Mayumi have together. She copies everything he does, and he loves having a little "doll" to take around.

And he is getting big. He is potty training and has a big boy bed. I am not sure why we bought him the bed though as this was pretty much the only time he slept in it. He usually makes a "nest" on the floor out of his blankets, pillows and stuffed animals. It is fun for me to hear all the funny things he says but we are definitely saying so long to his baby days.

He's doing great with his counting and ABC's and learning letter and number recognition. He knows how to use an ipod better than I do. And he wants to pretty much know the mysteries of the universe. I get weird looks at the grocery store when I am explaining things in depth to my 2 year old sitting in the cart, but the more you explain something to him, the better. He's very detail oriented and very reasonable and I pretty much just converse with him like I would an adult. He of course still has his fits and normal two year old moments, but he grew up way too fast for this mom. I guess they all do.