Monday, September 30, 2013

My amazing, wonderful children

I don't think I usually refer to them that way. It's usually "the crazy one." Or "the one who talks back all the time." Or "the ones who won't stop fighting."
But usually they really are wonderful. Especially the past week. I mentioned in my last post that we are dealing with yet another pregnancy loss.  And to the family members who are saying, "Hey, she didn't tell me? I am reading about it on her blog?" I apologize. Things have been so crazy around here I just did not feel I could deal with getting into it at the moment. I really am sorry. But I am so, so tired.

Anyway, I have worried in the past that Benny was not compassionate. He didn't seem to care if people were sad or hurting. I would look at my niece who was so sensitive and was concerned about the difference I saw. But the other day he asked if we could snuggle in 2 days. I thought that was funny he was scheduling this in advance, but it made sense since it was past his bedtime at the moment, and the next night he wasn't going to be home. So he was scheduling a snuggling session. This of course delighted me since it NEVER happens. But I think in his own way he is sensitive after all, and somehow knew this is what is mommy needed. I didn't make him wait 2 days; I said let's snuggle now. I ended up telling him I was sad because I had a baby in my tummy that wasn't going to make it. The wise little boy told me that we didn't know that for sure, and that maybe the doctor was wrong, and we would just have to wait and see. He also said he was sorry this was happening and that after my next doctor's appt he would make sure to give me a big hug.

After this talk I wondered if I had done the right thing in telling him because he was getting excited and hopeful about having a little brother or sister. I tried to warn him that it actually wasn't going to work out, but he remained positive. Yesterday I was lying down on the couch for a few minutes, and he came and laid down with me. I can't remember the comment I made, but it had something to do with wishing things were going to go differently at my appt tomorrow (today). Then in a sweet, wise voice, he said, "Well, mommy, sometimes things happen in life that we just don't understand."
What? Could this be the same boy that is grounded for the next two weeks?  It reminded me of the time he was around 2 and our friend Norma was having some major health issues. We were at Target and he was playing with my phone. He had a pretend conversation with Norma, who he had met maybe twice, in which he said, "Be patient, Norma. Be patient." And then he moved on to whatever 2 year old babbling he was doing.

And Ellie. She makes going to Sacrament meeting on Sundays nearly impossible. But at least she loves nursery and will yell during sacrament meeting that she wants to go to nursery. So when I picked her up after church yesterday, the nursery leader asked if we had found a babysitter yet because she really wants her family to watch Ellie anytime we need them. The two nursery leaders then proceeded to tell us how much they love having her in class and how cute and fun she is. They love how much she talks and how much personality she has. And they whispered that they know they're not supposed to have favorites, but she is theirs. By then I was laughing pretty hard. Of course we adore Ellie, but we know how her strong personality can get going in bad directions sometimes.  But I guess when it's going in the right direction, she is delightful to be around. And that made me happy that other people could see that, too. I always wanted my daughter to have personality and be a strong person, and it's good to see that is exactly who she is. We just have to make sure we keep that energy of hers on a positive path.

I will never be one of those moms with a great quantity of children, but I definitely know that the quality is.


Lori said...

I am so sorry about your loss. What a heartbreak for you and Ben. What a wise little boy you have. A good soul. Just like his parents. Children really do notice a lot and seem to be so close to the spirit. when we lost my brother, my nephew was 2 1/2 at the time and he reminded us through quite a few experiences how thin the veil is. That sweet spirit that wasn't able to stay with you is close by you. I obviously don't know how it all works on the other side but i just strongly feel that our loved ones are so aware of us. And I love Ellie too! She cracks me up. Both your kids do. it is great they have strong personalities. btw- i thought you had already moved!

Jennifer said...

So sorry for your loss. *HUGS* Your kids do sound amazing!

Angela Okada said...

My heart goes out to ya. Your kids ARE amazing and have a great mom!!!!

Esther said...

Oh Kari I am sorry you have to go through another miscarriage! That definitely isn't fair. I can't imagine how hard it would be to have this happen so many times. I am so sorry.
Thank you so much for your comment on my blog. You are always such a good friend and I really appreciate that. Thank you for always showing your support. Your kids are so lucky to have you as their mom and I am sure they are going to be amazing people as they grow up. I wish I could see them more and have them play with my kids.
Congratulations on the house! I am glad it all worked out for you guys. Having a home of your own is such a nice feeling but moving is always such a stressful time, especially with everything else you have going on, I hope it all settles down now. Good luck with everything!

Heather said...

Oh Kari, my heart aches for you dealing with another loss. I'm sorry! It is amazing that you can see the good and amazing things in life anyway, you are awesome and I loved hearing your stories about your kids helping you...they do know what to say sometimes, don't they? I love their sweet little spirits! And congrats on the house! That is so exciting to finally have that place to call your own!

bethanyg said...


I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage! I can't imagine how painful that must be for you and Ben. We love you and your beautiful family immeasurably and wish you peace and healing.

Unknown said...

oh Kari, I'm so sorry hun! You do sound like you have 2 amazingly awesome children. I will keep you in my prayers sweetie!

Heather said...

I'm so sorry about your loss, Kari. I'll be sure to keep you in my thoughts! My name is Heather and I was hoping you would answer my question I have about your blog! Please email me at Lifesabanquet1(at)gmail(dot)com :-)