My amazing, wonderful children

I don't think I usually refer to them that way. It's usually "the crazy one." Or "the one who talks back all the time." Or "the ones who won't stop fighting."
But usually they really are wonderful. Especially the past week. I mentioned in my last post that we are dealing with yet another pregnancy loss.  And to the family members who are saying, "Hey, she didn't tell me? I am reading about it on her blog?" I apologize. Things have been so crazy around here I just did not feel I could deal with getting into it at the moment. I really am sorry. But I am so, so tired.

Anyway, I have worried in the past that Benny was not compassionate. He didn't seem to care if people were sad or hurting. I would look at my niece who was so sensitive and was concerned about the difference I saw. But the other day he asked if we could snuggle in 2 days. I thought that was funny he was scheduling this in advance, but it made sense since it was past his bedtime at the moment, and the next night he wasn't going to be home. So he was scheduling a snuggling session. This of course delighted me since it NEVER happens. But I think in his own way he is sensitive after all, and somehow knew this is what is mommy needed. I didn't make him wait 2 days; I said let's snuggle now. I ended up telling him I was sad because I had a baby in my tummy that wasn't going to make it. The wise little boy told me that we didn't know that for sure, and that maybe the doctor was wrong, and we would just have to wait and see. He also said he was sorry this was happening and that after my next doctor's appt he would make sure to give me a big hug.

After this talk I wondered if I had done the right thing in telling him because he was getting excited and hopeful about having a little brother or sister. I tried to warn him that it actually wasn't going to work out, but he remained positive. Yesterday I was lying down on the couch for a few minutes, and he came and laid down with me. I can't remember the comment I made, but it had something to do with wishing things were going to go differently at my appt tomorrow (today). Then in a sweet, wise voice, he said, "Well, mommy, sometimes things happen in life that we just don't understand."
What? Could this be the same boy that is grounded for the next two weeks?  It reminded me of the time he was around 2 and our friend Norma was having some major health issues. We were at Target and he was playing with my phone. He had a pretend conversation with Norma, who he had met maybe twice, in which he said, "Be patient, Norma. Be patient." And then he moved on to whatever 2 year old babbling he was doing.

And Ellie. She makes going to Sacrament meeting on Sundays nearly impossible. But at least she loves nursery and will yell during sacrament meeting that she wants to go to nursery. So when I picked her up after church yesterday, the nursery leader asked if we had found a babysitter yet because she really wants her family to watch Ellie anytime we need them. The two nursery leaders then proceeded to tell us how much they love having her in class and how cute and fun she is. They love how much she talks and how much personality she has. And they whispered that they know they're not supposed to have favorites, but she is theirs. By then I was laughing pretty hard. Of course we adore Ellie, but we know how her strong personality can get going in bad directions sometimes.  But I guess when it's going in the right direction, she is delightful to be around. And that made me happy that other people could see that, too. I always wanted my daughter to have personality and be a strong person, and it's good to see that is exactly who she is. We just have to make sure we keep that energy of hers on a positive path.

I will never be one of those moms with a great quantity of children, but I definitely know that the quality is.