What in the world?

I feel like I ask myself that question all the time lately.  I don't know how, but the past 2 months have been crazier than the past several years put together.  After arriving in Utah ( and even before I guess) there has been incident after incident.

The short of it and probably biggest at the moment--Ben lost his job after 4 weeks.
This is the job we were sure about taking and moved from California. So, we figure the job was not as meant to be as we thought but now have no idea what we are doing. We felt we needed to move to Utah and that's as far as we've gotten. We're here.

I say I either have to laugh or cry about it, and mostly I laugh.  But sometimes it's frustrating.  The 3 years we were in the Bay Area I felt like we were wandering around, moving from apartment to apartment, not knowing where to be.  Then he got the job in Utah which we felt really good about.  I thought we could finally get settled, find a house, find a place where the kids could grow up and Benny could start school next year. So now I laugh because I think the wandering and not knowing is even worse now.

And then I remember to be grateful. There's no doubt Somebody has been watching over us.  The place we're living is really nice, and it's even nicer that the landlord/friends of ours signed us on a month to month basis.  We can stay as long or little as we want. While Ben is out of work, I've been getting calls to work here and there.   It's not as much work as I think we need, but we also have savings because for some reason we held off on using that money for a down payment on a house. I also got an opportunity to go to California for a week to work. It was a great experience in many ways--the work was good, the office was great, the pay was good, and I got to relax at my parents.' I even got to sleep in my old bed, just like when I was growing up.  It kind of felt nice to just worry about myself for a few days and order as much Thai food as I wanted. I missed Ben and the kids, but they were all doing great at home in Orem.  It couldn't have gone more smoothly.

So while I really wish I knew that Ben would get a job soon and we would have benefits, I am doing my best to trust him and trust that God knows what's best for us. I hate not knowing what tomorrow brings--literally tomorrow--but am trying to take it one step at a time instead of planning my entire life. In General Conference last week there was a talk about a pioneer woman who was almost out of food for her family.  But just like Christ feeding the 5000, the woman miraculously had enough food for her family out of 2 hard biscuits.  The speaker said that the woman did not demand to know how she was going to feed her family tomorrow; she was just grateful for the food they had at that moment and had faith that things would work out somehow.

So I try to be less demanding and more trusting, and we will see what tomorrow brings.  I have no idea.